Saturday, January 8, 2011

A Year Later, a Different Result

I am like my mother in many ways and one thing I inherited from her is the ability to remember significant dates.  In saying this, I remember birthdays and anniversaries, but also dates that have had a significant impact in my life.  A year ago on January 8th, Ashley and I had our dreaded OB appointment where we found out that Elliott was no longer alive.  Ashley and I were discussing that appointment yesterday and just the deep feelings we felt during and after the appointment.  I remember being in complete shock and being able to talk with the doctor for over a half hour without shedding a tear, but then being overwhelmed by complete despair by the time we got to our car.  Ashley stayed strong and called my mom and told her the news because I couldn't bear to say it out loud.  My parents immediately jumped in the car and drove over an hour to just give me a hug.  I remember feeling so bad for letting them down because Elliott would have been their first grandchild.

So almost exactly a year later, Ashley and I went to my OB appointment at the same doctors office, with the same ultrasound tech and the same doctor, but with totally different results.  Our ultrasound looked great and the doctor thinks the risks we were concerned about earlier are very small now.  I may not need another ultrasound either, which is reassuring because things look good.  However, I thoroughly enjoy seeing my baby's little nose, feet, hands and spine.  It is like watching the best movie of my life.  And good news, it's still a boy!

At our appointment a fews days ago we had to wait over an hour after our scheduled time to actually see the doctor.  As with any time at a doctor's office, this is generally frustrating and causes my impatience to get the best of me.  But my patience with waiting is different after my experience a year ago.  This is because when we got the bad news about Elliott, the doctor spent over a half hour with us just being kind, answering my questions and caring.  So I sat there the other day realizing I may be waiting because he is spending time with someone else who is having the worst day of their life.  So I didn't mind that we didn't see the doctor until an hour after our scheduled appointment time, because my new outlook is that when you wait, it is because the doctor is actually doing his job and caring, not just rushing in and out of the room to get his job done. We ended up being the last patients in the office the other day, yet my doctor still sat down and talked with us without seeming rushed.  For this I am thankful.

So below are some pictures of our little guy.  He is currently about one pound.  I am so thankful and feel so blessed to have gotten through the first half of my pregnancy.   Today I just reflect and praise God for how he has blessed us with the chance to have another baby, when a year ago all hope had seemed lost.

This is his face looking forward.

This is a profile with his little hand by his head.

This is a cross-section of his heart and the heart rate strip below, beating 145 beats/min.

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