Missing You.

Why is it that the holidays make you miss people who are no longer here?  There are several people that I miss right now (in no particular order).

1) My mother-in-law, Chris.  She was always full of loving wisdom and there have been times in this past month that I wish I could gain knowledge from her.

2) My grandma.  She was a woman that lovingly disciplined me and helped make me into who I am today. I often miss her and wish I could share nursing stories with her, ask her advice on parenting, introduce her to my husband, and just see her hold my son.

3) My grandpa.  I want him to try the cookies and fudge that I make from his recipes and get his sweet smile of approval.  He was a man of very few words, but his kindness always shined through his eyes.

4) My father-in-law, Gary.  I wish he could be here to see what his son is doing with River Park Grace.  He would be proud.

5) My uncle Jeff.  I would love to have him meet Jude and have him take Jude on boat rides at the lake and make his famous Tony's breadsticks.

6) Elliott.  I often wonder what he would look like, what his personality would be like, and how much fun Jude would have with an older sibling.

Although I greatly miss these people, I am thankful for the time that I did have with each one of them.  Sometimes I like to just sit and reflect on the memories I have of them.  Sometimes those memories bring tears and sometimes they bring a smile.  As I rocked Jude to sleep today I told him stories of his family members he will never meet and I hope to continue to do this until he feels like he knew them too.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year...

I have come to my blog repeatedly over the past week to write something and I just can't seem to find the words.  There is a lot on my heart in regards to some sensitive issues in my life and I just can't find the appropriate words to express them.  But I'm thankful that I don't need words for my God to understand my heart.  He knows my thoughts and prayers.  He knows my desires.  And for that I am thankful.

On a different note, Christmas is upon us.  What a wonderful time of year.  The lights on trees, sweet treats made for friends, presents bought for family.  I love it all, but what I love even more is that we get to celebrate the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  How amazing that He came to this earth purely to die for our sins, in order to give us life!  Ashley and I have been talking about traditions we want to start now that we have our own family and many of them center around the modern day celebration of Christmas, such as making cookies, cutting down a Christmas tree, etc.  But we have also noted that we want to be intentional about teaching Jude the real reason we even have the chance to celebrate Christmas.  We want to read about the birth of Jesus prior to opening gifts on Christmas morning and we want to be intentional about giving back to someone in need during the holidays.  My prayer is that as we make these traditions part of our family that we will also be able to instill a love for Christ in Jude as he grows older.

Below is Jude with his first Christmas tree and stocking made by his grandma.  This is the first year in my entire life that I haven't had a real tree, but with Jude on the move we decided we better be safe and put up a small fake tree instead.  So I guess that means one more evergreen tree gets to live a year longer...