Sunday, August 21, 2011

Work and College

Well I survived work.  Jude on the other hand doesn't care for me being gone...which makes me feel good and bad at the same time.  I worked two 12-hour shifts in a row this past week and that was tough.  Jude screamed a decent amount for Ashley because he likes to comfort nurse in the evenings and I wasn't there for him do that.  It broke my heart knowing he was missing me so much, but it was nice to know he wanted me.  I then woke up about every 3 hours and fed him during the day when I was home and then I went back to work for another 12 hours.  To be honest, this is a lot.  I miss my little guy, but I am extremely tired too.  I had read a book that said going back to work is like the first few weeks after you have your baby and I totally believe it!  Except, now I'm not getting the meals made for me or my house cleaned by my family.

Today I skipped church, which I hate doing, but with working so much and then spending all day yesterday moving Sean into college, going to a wedding and spending time with family, I just haven't had time for Jude.  He hasn't nursed well in the last 3 days and has been extra cranky.  So today I am just hanging out with him, cuddling, rocking him to sleep, and playing with him.  So far it has been wonderful.  Now that he is napping I thought I would clean and update my blog quickly :)

Yesterday we took Sean to college...he didn't go far, just across the street to Bethel, but nonetheless, he is a college student now.  I know he is going to thrive in this atmosphere and he can finally be on a somewhat equal playing field because no one has their parents to rely on in college.  It seems like he has great roommates and hopefully he enjoys all his classes.  It was funny to hear all the parents talk about how hard of day it was to say goodbye to their kids and how difficult of an adjustment it would be, whereas Ashley and I were thinking about how great of an experience this is going to be for Sean and how happy for him we are that he gets to be surrounded by a loving atmosphere of professors and students on a campus that will hopefully form him into a wonderful man.  I am thankful for the year we spent with Sean and hopefully we helped teach him some values that he can carry on into his future development into adulthood, but I am also thankful that it was just a year.  This isn't to say anything against Sean, it is just to say that I often felt inadequate as a mother figure for Sean and now he is growing up where he doesn't need to rely on Ashley and I as much.  In 18 years I may change my thought on this when Jude goes to college and I may WANT him to continue to rely on his mom.

Well, off to clean and do some laundry while Jude is napping.  I plan to update about our church plant endeavor next time!

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