Jude is 2 months old. It is crazy how fast time flies. In the past 2 months I have learned a lot about Jude and myself. I have learned how to read Jude's different cries and respond to them appropriately (most of the time), I have learned how to multi-task better than I ever thought possible, and I've learned that my love for him is stronger than I could have imagined prior to giving birth. As I approach the time that I have to go back to work, I can't help but think about how hard it is going to be to leave Jude. I really don't want to and I tear up every time I think about it. I often wish that I was good at doing crafty things so I could work from home, but I am not, so that option is out. I enjoy my job, but I don't love it. I have to weigh the options of living comfortably while working, or sacrificing money so I can stay home with Jude more and this decision it is just so hard!
The other difficult thing in this decision is that Ashley and I are embarking on a new journey with planting a church in River Park. (see his blog for more details at http://ashleyswanson.wordpress.com/). I am very excited about this, but this definitely adds some fear of the unknown. Us embarking on this journey means we are giving everything up to God, including our income.
So essentially I don't know exactly what I plan to do in regards to work. I know I will always continue to work, but how much is the question. I have to make my decision soon because I go back to work in less than a month! I am thankful I even have the option to work less, mainly because I just love Jude so much and I don't want to miss time away from him or any of my future children. So if anyone knows someone that wants to just give me money so I can stay home, that would fix all my problems! =)