2 Years Later.

It has been 2 years since Ashley and I lost our first baby.  In just 2 years it is amazing how vastly different our lives are.  Our lives were pretty dark and seemed quite hopeless in January of 2010 and now our life radiates with the life and joy of a little 8 month old boy.  With that being said though, even though joy and hope are more evident in our life now, the memory of the pain we endured in losing Elliott is still there. 

Our church is offering a midweek class taught by Dr. Chad Meister on the topic of "God and the Problem of Pain and Suffering".  I went to the first class last week and appreciated the perspective Dr. Meister shared with the class.  In particular the passage in Romans 5 which talks about rejoicing in our suffering because it will produce perseverance and then perseverance, character and character, hope.  Dr. Meister talked about how with suffering our character is formed into people who are becoming more like Jesus Christ.  As I reflect over the last two years, I see the work of God forming me.  I care more, I pray more, and I understand Romans 12:15 which says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and mourn with those who mourn."  My life used to be centered around me (and it probably is still more than it should), but now my eyes have been opened to how to care for others in some of their darkest times, and for that I am thankful.

I placed some flowers on Elliott's little grave this morning and I assumed I would be filled with sorrow, but although saddened by the life of a little baby I never knew, I had a sense of peace and hope for a new tomorrow and the promises God gives us.  I am thankful for the journey God has taken me on in the past two years.  Although I know that life with still have its ups and downs, the promise that God is with me through the dark valleys is something I am incredibly thankful for.

Don't Take Things for Granted

Over the past year I have had several friends who have lost people close to them and many times I have been at a loss for words on how to comfort them.  I have had a friend lose her brother, another one lose her full-term baby, another friend lose a son they were so close to adopting, and then another lose her husband.  These are all girls my age who have experienced such devastating heartache and pain.  And I can't help but wonder why these wonderful, sweet, loving individuals have to endure losing someone so dear to their hearts.  I can't answer why and I can't understand it, but I can learn to not take for granted my sisters, my baby, my husband.  I would never wish the heartache of losing a loved one on anyone, but I do encourage everyone, including myself, to learn from this.  Hug your child a little tighter, say you love your spouse before going to bed, cherish the moments you have with your siblings.  These devastating circumstances have made me realize I am incredibly blessed and I should not take one minute for granted that I have to spend with my child, my husband, my family, or my friends.  And as I remember how blessed I am, may I continue to pray for the people who have lost someone dear to their hearts.

Speechless

I found out yesterday that a friend of mine found her husband unresponsive earlier that morning and did CPR without success.  They have a 3 week old daughter.  I am at a loss for words and it is so hard to not question why this has happened.  I have honestly been rendered speechless.  I don't know how to comfort her or encourage her to seek God in this horrible time.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.- Romans 8:26

Lord, please wrap your loving arms around my friend and her daughter at this time.  Make your presence known.